Difficulties in Relationships
by BroadwayBaby100
Summary: Morticia and Gomez try to teach Wednesday and her crush a lesson... but do things get taken a little too far?


"Morticiaaaaa." Gomez groans, as he sits back in his chair within their gorgeous master bedroom. His eyes following his wife back and forth as she paces in front of him. Her arms folded, and her beautiful featured face, frowning in worriment. "Cara miaaaaa."

"Gomez, PLEASE! I'm trying to think!" She lets out a slight whine as she falls onto the bed and lies on her back. Staring at the ceiling, she lets out a long sigh. "Too fast...it's all too fast."

"My darling, this is so unlike you." He smirks as he admires her silly way of mentally breaking down. " I was told I would be the one to have a nervous conniption when I would find out Wednesday found herself a romance."

Morticia sits up and faces him, a questioning look on her face. "And why aren't you?

"Because you're doing it for me." He raises an eyebrow. She repeats her inelegant way of crashing down on the bed, her mind racing with fears and worries. " A 14 year old can't find love. It's impossible!"

"How is it impossible, Tish?" Gomez leans forward in his chair once Morticia sits back up and faces him. A seductive, yet smart smirk spreads across her face. Always indicating a genius thought in her head.

"Because I'm going to make it impossible." He tries to calm himself of the fire that shot within him once she spoke those words, that low, silky tone. She sounded like a woman on a mission, and she knew it, too. "Pardon me?"

"We are going to make it impossible by leaving a thought in their minds that 'love' isn't as easy as it seems." She stands up and nods as the idea becomes even more brilliant in her mind.

"Cara mia..." Gomez growls as he stands up and rushes over to her, wrapping one arm around her waist. " How could we do that, when you must understand that loving you is as simple as anyone admiring the sweet sound of a screeching vulture?" He pulls her close in one swift motion and leans down to kiss her neck softly.

" Uhm, Gomez, my darling.." Her eyes narrow as she pulls away slightly from his grasp. "Are you implying that I'm 'easy'?" He freezes, not completely understanding how she would assume that from what he said. "What? No, No! Morticia-Cara mia-"

"Aha!" She snaps her finger and points it at Gomez, her eyes widen as he looks at her, completely confused. "You see? The slightest misunderstanding can quickly sprout into a ghastly argument!"

"...Yes...And I really don't like it..." He sits down on the edge of the bed relieved that her assumption before was merely to demonstrate an example.

"We must put on an act! Just like that! An argument, even!"

"Morticia, I couldn't possibly argue with you-"

"It's just a show darling. Don't worry! When Wednesday's little crush comes over for dinner tonight, we shall sit them down in the dining room for a lecture on difficulties in relationships." Gomez sighs, and watches his wife as she once again begins to pace back and forth in front of the bed. "But of course, a lecture never teaches anyone anything! And that's why..." She pauses, and turns her head to Gomez.

"We give a demonstration!"

"Exactly!" She claps and smiles with satisfaction. Gomez stands up and wraps both arms around her. "Querida mia, you're a genius!" He leans close to kiss her, but is interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Morticia looks at him, a glint in her eyes. " Action. "

***********************************

Morticia and Gomez note every detail of the boy in their minds as he introduces himself. Lucas, is the name. Morticia understands the attraction, and eyes him innocently. Gomez invites the two to seat themselves at the dining room table. Wednesday and Lucas sit beside each other, while Morticia and Gomez sit across from them, beside one another as well. Morticia gives Gomez a look, and he nods.

" Children, I understand you've sprouted quite a romance-" Wednesday rolls her eyes, massively irritated by just the first sentence her father spoke. "Oh no..."

Morticia fiddles in her seat, a little uncomfortable by Wednesday's immediate lack of interest in what both of her parents must say. "You see children we are happy for both of you. Honestly, we are! But we feel you should know that... it's quite unsafe to rely everything on what you believe is 'love' too quickly."

Lucas looks at Wednesday then at Morticia once again. A little nervous at where this conversation is heading. "W-What do you mean?"

Gomez chuckles slightly at the boys discomfort. "What means is, with relationships comes... difficulties." He looks at Morticia, feeling victorious at finding the right word. "Difficulties, right darling?"

Morticia nods at the children. "Yes difficulties. Absolutely."

Wednesday raises an eyebrow at her father. "Name one difficulty you and mother have between each other." She crosses her arms, mocking their pathetic lecture. Gomez looks at Morticia, nodding at the look she gave him telling him to say something. He freezes for a moment, then leans over and whispers softly in her ear. "Cara mia, I can't do this. Nothing is difficult with you, you're flawless!"

She nods and whispers back. "I know. But think of something, darling! Quickly!" He sits up once again in his chair and searches through his mind of something to say. " Well...f-for one... her hair."

Morticia's eyes widen, and she turns her head sharply to Gomez. "Excuse me? What about my hair, darling?" She asks, almost forgetting this is an act.

"I mean, please! I find it so unnecessarily long, don't you agree children? I mean, cara mia, have you ever heard of a barber shop?" Morticia stares at him in complete shock. Completely forgetting the purpose of this lecture. "Excuse me?!"

"Like sometimes when I go to hug her, I practically drown in it!" Gomez smirks, feeling proud of his acting ability. He gets a little concerned once Morticia stands up, staring him down with a blazing fire burning in her eyes. " Oh! Okay! Lucas, don't even get me started on his mustache!"

Gomez glares at her. The fact that this is supposed to be a fake performance also slips his mind. " Say again?"

" I could go on for ages!" Morticia, feeling incredibly hurt and also furious, speaks in a mocking tone. "Excuse? Mr. Addams? What would you like for Christmas? Perhaps an electric shaver?!" Gomez immediately stands up, completely offended. "Oh, don't even try! You always loved my mustache!"

" Um, yes. When it was youthful! Sometimes, it doesn't hurt to trim the hedge every once in a while, old man!" Gomez looks at her in shock. "Oh, you want to talk about getting old? Well perhaps you should add some elastic to your dresses, because they're just not fit for your body anymore, darling!"

Morticia's eyes grow wider than they've ever had. She gasps in horror. " I cannot BELIEVE you!"

Gomez scoffs obnoxiously. "Can't believe me? Just take a look in a full length mirror!"

They begin to scream at each other as Lucas and Wednesday watch in shock. Finally, Wednesday gets extremely nervous and screams at both of them. "OKAY! Okay...Alright, we get it. Relationships have difficulties..." Gomez and Morticia stop screaming and look at her, gradually calming down. "Thank you for explaining that to us...Now may we please go to the playroom?"

Morticia nods, the fury in her cooling down slowly. "Yes... of course you may, darlings. Go right ahead." Wednesday and Lucas nod and run out of the dining room. Morticia and Gomez look away from each other.

Morticia speaks softly, still very shocked from what just happened. "Good acting..." She pats him on the back and leaves the dining room quickly.

Gomez clears his throat. "Yeah...yeah, you too..."

XD I hope you enjoyed this! It was meant for laughs. I'm a comedian, so a lot of my stories may not be too dramatic. Thank you for reading!


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